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saco-indonesia.com, Tabrak tiang penerangan Jalan Umum (PJU), Umi yang berusia (40) tahun, warga Pal Empat, Kecamatan Cipocok Jaya, Kota Serang, Banten, tewas mengenaskan setelah terpental dari kendaraan yang telah dikemudikannya. Peristiwa nahas tersebut telah terjadi saat korban mengendarai mobil bak terbuka jenis Daihatsu Grand Max dengan nomor polisi B 9293 NAB.

Saat itu korban telah melaju dari arah Serang menuju Pandeglang. Ketika itu sedang melaju kencang di Jalan raya Serang-Pandeglang

Karena jalanan licin akibat diguyur hujan, mobil yang telah dikendarai korban oleng dan lepas kendali. Mobil yang berkecepatan tinggi itu terbang ke atas median jalan dan menghantam tiang penerangan jalan tepat di Kampung Tembong, Kecamatan Cipocok Jaya, Kota Serang.

Kerasnya benturan tersebut mengakibat tiang penerangan rubuh di tengah jalan dan korban terlempar keluar dari kendaraannya. Akibat dari benturan hebat itu, korban tewas seketika dengan luka parah pada bagian kepala.

Peristiwa tersebut telah menyebabkan arus kendaraan dari kedua arah mengalami kemacetan. Arus lalu luntas kembali lancar setelah korban dan kendaraannya dievakuasi petugas Satlantas Polres Serang.

Kasat Lantas Polres Serang, AKP Warsono masih harus menyelidiki penyebab kecelakaan. "Untuk penyebab masih diselidiki. Yang pasti ini kecelakaan tunggal dan ada 1 orang korban tewas," ungkap AKP Warsono.


Editor : Dian Sukmawati

UMI TABRAK TIANG LISTRIK

UMRAH DENGAN PAKAIAN BIASA

Oleh
Al-Lajnah Ad-Daimah Lil Ifta

Pertanyaan
Al-Lajnah Ad-Daimah Lil Ifta ditanya : Saya melaksanakan umrah pada awal Ramadhan tahun ini dan saya mukim di Mekkah selama 15 hari. Lalu saya melaksanakan umrah lagi dengan baju saya dan penutup kepala. Ketika saya pertama kali sampai di Masjidil Haram, saya shalat dua raka'at dengan niat shalat Tahiyatul Masjid, lalu saya thawaf di Ka'bah tujuh kali putaran kemudian shalat dua raka'at di maqam Ibrahim 'Alaihis Salam, lalu sa'i tujuh kali putaran dan kemudian memotong rambut. Apakah yang saya lakukan benar ?

Jawaban
Apa yang anda sebutkan dalam pertanyaan bahwa yang dilakukan dalam umrah adalah suatu yang wajib dari umrah dan anda tidak wajib mengeluarkan sesuatu jika ihram dari miqat yang wajib. Hanya saja shalat dua raka'at yang dilakukan ketika masuk Masjidil Haram adalah menyalahi sunnah bagi orang yang masuk Masjidil Haram (untuk melaksanakan umrah), yaitu memulai dengan thawaf.

Adapun yang anda sebutkan bahwa anda ihram dengan memakai baju, jika yang dimaksudkan itu baju ihram, yaitu kain dan selendang yang telah digunakan dalam umrah sebelum umrah, maka tiada mengapa dalam hal tersebut, karena boleh menggunakannya berulang kali dalam haji atau umrah atau memberikan kepada orang lain untuk digunakan haji dan umrah. Tapi jika yang anda maksudkan bahwa ihram dengan baju biasa yang dipakai selain ketika ihram, maka anda salah dalam hal itu dan anda telah melakukan dua larangan dalam umrah, yaitu memakai pakaian berjahit dan menutup kepala. Jika anda mengetahui bahwa demikian itu tidak boleh, maka wajib dua fidyah, yaitu karena pakaian dan menutup kepala. Dan untuk masing-masing anda boleh menyembelih kambing yang mencukupi syarat kurban, atau memberi makan enam orang miskin masing-masing orang setengah sha' berupa kurma atau yang lain dari makanan pokok suatu daerah, atau puasa tiga hari. Dan kedua kambing atau makanan untuk 12 orang miskin diberikan kepada orang-orang miskin Mekkah dan kamu tidak boleh makan sebagian dari keduanya dan juga tidak boleh anda hadiahkan. Sedangkan untuk berpuasa boleh dilakukan di tempat dan waktu kapanpun.

Namun jika yang anda lakukan tersebut karena tidak mengetahui hukum syar'i atau karena lupa, maka tidak wajib fidyah, hanya harus taubat dan mohon ampun kepada Allah atas dua hal tersebut serta tidak akan mengulangi pekerjaan yang menafikan kewajiban-kewajiban dalam ihram seperti kedua hal tersebut. Kepada Allah kita bermohon taufiq kepada kebenaran. Dan shalawat serta salam kepada Nabi kita Muhammad Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

MEMAKAI CELANA KETIKA IHRAM KARENA TIDAK TAHU

Oleh
Syaikh Abdullah bin Abdurrahman Al-Jibrin

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdullah bin Abdurrahman Al-Jibrin ditanya : Tahun lalu saya pergi umrah dan saya tidak mengetahui sebagian syarat-syaratnya. Ketika saya ihram dari miqat saya memakai celana pendek dan saya tidak mengetahui hukum masalah ini. Lalu setelah saya kembali, sebagian orang memberitahukan kepada saya bahwa yang saya lakukan tersebut tidak boleh. Dan tahun ini saya umrah lagi ketika saya mengetahui bahwa memakai pakaian berjahit tidak boleh ketika ihram. Apakah saya wajib membayar kifarat sebab masalah tersebut ?

Jawaban
Tidak wajib membayar fidyah karena anda tidak mengetahui hukum tersebut. Sebab seseorang dimaafkan ketika melakukan larangan tersebut karena ketidaktahuan tentang hukum. Sesungguhnya fidyah hanya wajib atas orang yang melakukan hal tersebut jika dia mengetahui dan sengaja melakukannya. Maka anda tidak wajib mengulangi umrah karena tidak melakukan apa yang merusakkan umrah. Jadi umrah anda yang kedua adalah umrah sunnah.

IHRAM DENGAN MEMAKAI CELANA KARENA SENGAJA

Oleh
Syaikh Abdullah bin Abdurrahman Al-Jibrin

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdullah bin Abdurrhman Al-JIbrin ditanya : Ketika di miqat saya niat ihram umrah tamattu' kepada haji, tapi saya tidak melepas celana dalam saja. Dan demikian itu disebabkan malu yang menyertai saya pada waktu itu. Sehingga saya melaksanakan umrah dengan memakai celana. Dan ketika saya ihram haji, saya mengerti bahwa saya salah ketika memakai celana dalam ihram. Maka saya melepas celana ketika ihram untuk melaksanakan haji.

Pertanyaannya, apakah saya wajib membayar kifarat karena tidak melepas celana ketika umrah saja, sebab saya melepasnya ketika melakukan haji ? Padahal saat itu saya mengetahui bahwa memakai pakaian berjahit membatalkan ihram, tapi saya melakukan itu karena sangat malu seperti saya sebutkan. Perlu diketahui bahwa umrah dan haji saya tersebut adalah yang pertama kali dan telah saya lakukan beberapa tahun lalu. Mohon penjelasan

Jawaban
Anda wajib membayar fidyah apabila sengaja tetap dalam pakaian tersebut. Sebab anda telah mengetahui bahwa demikian itu termasuk larangan dalam ihram, bukan yang membatalkannya. Adapun fidyahnya adalah puasa tiga hari, atau memberi makan enam orang miskin, atau memotong kambing. Mana saja yang anda lakukan diantara ketiga hal tersebut, maka telah cukup. Tapi menyembelih atau memberikan makan enam orang miskin tersebut harus di Mekkah dan untuk orang-orang miskin tanah haram. Sedangkan berpuasa dapat dilakukan di mana saja. Dan anda tidak berdosa karena terlambat melaksanakan kifarat, hanya saja anda lengah karena bertanya dalam tempo yang lama.

BATASAN PAKAIAN BERJAHIT DALAM IHRAM


Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Apakah batasan pakaian berjahit dan apa hukum memakai celana yang digunakan sekarang ini ketika ihram ?

Jawaban
Tidak boleh bagi orang yang sedang ihram haji atau umrah memakai celana dan lainnya dari pakaian yang berjahit dalam bentuk badan seutuhnya, seperti qamis, atau bagian atas badan saja, seperti kaos dan lain-lain, atau badan bagian bawah seperti celana. Sebab ketika Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam ditanya tentang pakaian orang yang sedang berihram maka beliau bersabda.

"Artinya : Ia tidak boleh memakai qamis, surban, celana, tudung kepala dan khuf, kecuali orang yang tidak mendapatkan sandal, maka dia boleh memakai khuf (sepatu but). Dan hendaklah dia memotong khuf sampai bawah mata kaki" [Muttafaqun 'alaih dari hadits Ibnu Umar Radhiallahu 'anhu]

Dengan demikian penanya harus mengetahui pakaian berjahit yang dilarang bagi orang yang sedang ihram.

Dari hadits tersebut nampak jelas bahwa yang dimaksud pakaian berjahit adalah setiap pakaian yang dijahit dengan ukuran seluruh badan seperti qamis, atau setengah badan pada bagian atas seperti kaos, atau setengah badan bagian bawah seperti celana. Dari hal tersebut dapat disamakan pakaian yang dijahit atau disulam seukuran tangan seperti kaos tangan, atau seukuran kaki seperti khuf (sepatu but). Tapi orang ihram diperbolehkan memakai khuf jika tidak mendapatkan sandal. Sebab terdapat hadits shahih dari Ibnu Abbas Radhiallahu 'anhu, bahwa ketika Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam menyampaikan khutbah kepada manusia di Arafah beliau bersabda.

"Artinya : Barangsiapa yang tidak mendapatkan kain maka hendaklah dia memakai celana, dan siapa yang tidak mendapatkan sandal maka hendaklah dai memakai khuf" [Muttafaqun 'alaih]

Dalam hadits ini Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam tidak menyebutkan perintah memotong khuf, maka menunjukkan tidak wajib memotong khuf. Jadi perintah memotong khuf yang terdapat dalam hadits pertama yang juga diriwayatkan Ibnu Abbas Radhiallahu anhu dihapuskan (mansukh) dengan hadits tersebut.

Demikian itu berkaitan dengan laki-laki. Sedangkan bagi wanita yang ihram, baik ihram haji maupun ihram umrah maka dia boleh memakai celana dan sepatu secara mutlak, tapi dialarang memakai cadar dan kaos tangan. Sebab Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam melarang dari kedua hal tersebut dalam hadits yang diriwayatkan Ibnu Umar Radhiallahu 'anhu. Namun wanita boleh menutup mukanya dengan selain cadar dan menutup kedua tanganya dengan selain kaos tangan ketika dia di hadapan laki-laki yang bukan mahramnya, seperti dengan kerudung dan lain-lain. Dan Allah adalah Dzat yang memberikan pertolongan kepada kebenaran.

MENCUKUR RAMBUT SETELAH IHRAM KARENA TIDAK TAHU

Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Seseorang telah melakukan ihram umrah. Setelah itu dia ingat bahwa mencukur rambut ketiak wajib ketika ihram lalu dia mencukurnya setelah ihram, kemudian pergi umrah. Mohon penjelasan hukum tentang hal tersebut ?

Jawaban
Mencukur rambut ketiak tidak wajib dalam ihram, demikian pula mencabutnya. Namun menurut sunnah adalah mencabut atau membersihkan rambut ketiak dengan sesuatu yang dapat menghilangkan dari bahan yang suci ketika sebelum ihram. Sebagaimana disunnahkannya memotong kumis, memotong kuku, dan mencukur rambut kemaluan ketika masing-masing telah siap untuk itu ketika sebelum ihram, seperti ketika di rumahnya. Dan demikian itu sudah cukup. Sebab hal-hal tersebut tidak wajib dilakukan ketika ihram, dan bagi orang yang kamu sebutkan itu tidak wajib membayar fidyah karena mencukur rambut ketiaknya disebabkan dia tidak tahu tentang hukum syar'i. Seperti itu juga jika seseorang melakukan sesuatu yang telah kami sebutkan setelah dia ihram karena lupa. Sebab Allah berfirman tentang do'a orang-orang mukmin.

"Artinya : Ya Rabb kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau kami bersalah" [Al-Baqarah : 286]

Dan dalam hadits hahih disebutkan bahwa Allah mengabulkan do'a tersebut seraya berfirman : "Sunnguh telah Aku lakukan".

MEMOTONG RAMBUT SEBELUM NIAT IHRAM

Oleh
Syaikh Abdullah bin Abdurrahman Al-Jibrin

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdullah bin Abdurrahman Al-Jibrin ditanya : Istri saya berihram untuk umrah. Dan sebelum keluar dari kamar mandi dan memakai bajunya dia menggunting rambutnya sedikit. Apa yang wajib dia lakukan ?

Jawaban
Tiada dosa atas dia dalam hal tersebut dan juga tidak wajib membayar fidyah. Sebab yang dilarang memotong rambut adalah setelah niat ihram sedangkan dia belum niat dan belum memakai bajunya. Bahkan seandainya dia melakukan seperti itu ketika dia telah ihram tapi karena tidak tahu atau lupa maka dia tidak wajib membayar fidyah. Wallahu a'lam.

JENIS PAKAIAN WANITA KETIKA IHRAM

Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Apakah wanita boleh ihram dengan pakaian apa saja yang dia kehendaki ?

Jawaban
Ya, wanita berihram dengan pakaian yang dia mau. Sebab bagi wanita tidak ada pakaian khusus ketika ihram sebagai mana anggapan orang-orang awam. Tapi yang utama adalah dia ihram dengan pakaian yang tidak menarik pandangan laki-laki sebab dia bercampur dengan banyak manusia. Maka seyogianya bila wanita ketika ihram memakai pakaian yang wajar dan tidak mengundang fitnah. Adapun bagi laki-laki maka yang utama adalah ihram dengan baju ihram putih, yakni selendang dan kain. Tapi jika tidak ada berwarna putih maka tidak apa-apa. Sebab terdapat riwayat dari Rasulullah Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bahwa beliau ihram dengan baju hijau. Kesimpulannya, tidak mengapa jika laki-laki ihram dengan pakaian yang tidak berwarna putih.


MASIH DALAM PAKAIAN IHRAM DALAM TEMPO YANG LAMA

Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Saya pergi umrah pada bulan Ramadhan bersama ibu saya. Kami berdua ihram di kapal terbang ketika di atas Bi'r Ali dan turun di Jeddah lalu istirahat. Dan setelah kami berbuka puasa maka kami pergi pada sore harinya ke Mekkah untuk melaksanakan umrah dan kami tidak melepas pakaian ihram hingga selesai umrah. Apakah kami terkena sangsi sebab kami istirahat di Jeddah dalam keadaan berpakaian ihram. Mohon penjelasan, semoga Allah memberikan kepada Anda balasan kebaikan.

Jawaban
Jika kondisi seperti yang anda sebutkan, maka tidak ada kewajiban membayar dam atas anda dan juga ibu. Sebab kalian berdua muqim di Jeddah masih dalam keadaan ihram, dan orang yang sedang ihram tidak wajib menyambung perjalanannya hingga melaksanakan umrah. Bahkan dia boleh istirahat di jalan dan muqim di mana saja yang dia kehendaki untuk melaksanakan kebutuhannya dan dia sedang ihram. Semoga Allah memberikan taufiq kepada semua kaum muslimin.

IHRAM MEMAKAI KAOS KAKI DAN KAOS TANGAN

Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Apa hukum ihram dengan memakai kaos kaki dan kaos tangan ? Dan apa dalilnya tentang hal tersebut ?

Jawaban
Bagi laki-laki ketika ihram tidak boleh memakai kaos kaki dan khuf (sepatu slop) kecuali jika tidak mendapatkan sandal berdasarkan sabda Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

"Artinya : Dan barangsiapa yang tidak mendapatkan sandal, maka dia boleh memakai khuf, dan siapa yang tidak mendapatkan kain, maka dia memakai celana panjang" [Muttafaqun 'Alaih]

Adapun bagi wanita, maka diperbolehkan memakai kaos kaki dan sepatu khuf, karena kaki wanita adalah aurat. Dan jika seorang wanita menjulurkan bajunya hingga menutup kedua kakinya maka cukup baginya dari kaos kaki dan khuf dalam shalat dan yang lainnya. Adapaun kaos tangan maka bagi laki-laki mupun perempuan tidak diperbolehkan memakainya ketika sedang ihram. Sebab Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda tentang wanita yang sedang ihram.

"Artinya : Janganlah wanita bercadar, dan janganlah dia memakai kaos tangan" [Hadits Riwayat Bukhari dalam shahihnya]

Jika memakai kaos tangan, maka haram bagi perempuan, lebih-lebih lagi bagi laki-laki. Karena itu Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda tentang laki-laki yang meninggal ketika dia sedang ihram.

"Artinya : Mandikanlah dia dengan air dan bidara, kafankan dia dengan dua baju (ihram)nya, jangan kamu berikan dia parfum, dan jangan kamu tutup kepala dan mukanya, sebab dia akan dibangkitkan pada hari kiamat dalam keadaan berihram" [Muttafaqun 'alaih dan redaksinya bagi Muslim]

Adapun sebagai ganti cadar bagi wanita ketika sedang ihram adalah dia dapat menutup wajahnya dengan kerudung dan yang sepertinya ketika dia berhadapan laki-laki. Demikian ini berdasarkan riwayat dari Aisyah Radhiallahu 'anha, ia berkata.

"Artinya : Adalah rombongan laki-laki melewati kami dan kami bersama Rasulullah Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Ketika mereka berpapasan dengan kami. setiap orang diantara kami mejulurkan jilbabnya dari kepala ke mukanya, dan jika mereka telah melewati kami, maka kami membukanya" [Hadits Riwayat Abu Dawud dan Ibnu Majah]

CARA MEMAKAI BAJU IHRAM

Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Apakah yang utama bagi orang yang sedang ihram menutup kedua pundaknya ataukah membuka salah satunya ?

Jawaban
Adapun yang sunnah bagi orang yang ihram adalah menjadikan selendang pada kedua pundak dan kedua ujungnya di dada. Ini adalah yang sunnah dan yang dilakukan Nabi Shallahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Maka jika seseorang berihram ingin thawaf qudum, ia menjadikan tengah selendangnya di bawa ketiak kanan dan kedua ujung selendang pada pundaknya yang kiri dan membuka pundaknya yang kanan. Tapi ini khusus dalam thawaf Qudum. Maksudnya ketika pertama datang ke Mekkah untuk haji atau umrah. Lalu ketika telah rampung thawaf Qudum memindahkan selendangnya dan dijadikannya pada kedua pundaknya lalu shalat dua raka'at thawaf. Maka orang yang selalu membuka salah satu pundaknya adalah menyalahi Sunnah Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Demikian pula orang yang membuka dua pundaknya. Sesungguhnya yang sesuai Sunnah Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam adalah menutupi kedua pundak dengan selendang ketika sedang ihram kecuali dalam thawaf qudum seperti telah disebutkan. Dan jika seseorang meletakkan selendangnya tidak menutup kedua pundaknya pada waktu dia duduk atau ketika makan atau ketika berbincang-bincang bersama kawan-kawannya maka tidak mengapa. Tapi yang sesuai sunnah jika dia memakai selendang maka dengan menutup kedua pundak dan ujung-ujung selendang berada pada dadanya.

MEMAKAI SABUK KETIKA SEDANG IHRAM


Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Apa hukum memakai ikat pinggang bagi orang yang sedang berihram karena untuk menjaga uangnya ? Apakah demikian itu diperbolehkan baginya, ataukah dinilai pakaian yang berjahit yang tidak boleh dipakai ?

Jawaban
Memakai ikat pinggang dan yang sepertinya tidak dilarang bagi orang yang sedang ihram. Demikian pula sapu tangan untuk mengikat kainnya atau untuk menjaga uang dan lain-lain.

GANTI PAKAIAN IHRAM

Oleh
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Apakah boleh berganti baju ihram karena di cuci ?

Jawaban
Tidak mengapa bila pakaian ihram di cuci, dan tidak mengapa juga bila berganti pakaian ihram dengan baju ihram yang baru atau baju yang telah di cuci.


MENGOLESKAN PARFUM KE PAKAIAN IHRAM


Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz ditanya : Apa hukum mengoleskan parfum kepada baju ihram sebelum niat dan talbiyah ?

Jawaban
Tidak seyogianya mengoleskan parfum pada selendang dan kain ihram, tetapi yang sunnah adalah mengoleskan parfum ke anggota badan, seperti kepala, jenggot, ketiak, dan lain-lain. Adapun pakaian maka tidak boleh diberikan parfum ketika berihram. Sebab Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam bersabda : "Janganlah (orang yang ihram) memakai baju yang tersentuh za'faran dan kasturi".

Jadi menurut sunnah adalah mengoleskan parfum ke badan saja, sedangkan pakaian ihram tidak boleh diberikan parfum, dan jika diberikan parfum maka tidak boleh dipakai hingga di cuci atau dibersihkan.


TIDAK MAMPU MEMAKAI BAJU IHRAM


Oleh
Syaikh Muhammad bin Shalih Al-Utsaimin

Pertanyaan
Syaikh Muhammad bin Shalih Al-Utsaimin ditanya : Seseorang ingin umrah pada bulan Ramadhan, tapi dia tidak mampu berpakaian ihram sebab dia sakit dan jimpe. Apakah dia dapat umrah dengan bajunya biasa dan wajib membayar kifarat ?

Jawaban
Jika seseorang tidak mampu berpakaian ihram maka dia memakai pakaian lain yang sesuai dan dia wajib membayar kifarat, boleh memotong seekor kambing yang dibagikan kepada orang-orang miskin, atau memberi makan enam orang miskin masing-masing orang miskin setengah sha', atau puasa tiga hari. Demikianlah yang dikatakan ulama karena mengqiyaskan terhadap ketentuan mencukur rambut yang dijelaskan dalam firman Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.

"Artinya : Dan jangan kamu mencukur kepalamu, sebelum kurban sampai di tempat penyembelihannya. Jika ada di antaramu sakit atau ada ganguan di kepalanya (lalu dia bercukur), maka wajiblah atasnya berfidyah, yaitu ; berpuasa, atau bersedekah, atau berkurban" [ Al-Baqarah : 196]

Nabi Shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam menjelaskan, bahwa berpuasa adalah tiga hari, dan sedekah adalah memberi makan enam orang miskin masing-masing orang miskin setengah sha', dan berkurban adalah menyembelih kambing.


[Disalin dari buku Fatwa-Fatwa Haji dan Umrah oleh Ulama-Ulama Besar Saudi Arabia, penysusun Muhammad bin Abdul Aziz Al-Musnad, terbitan Pustaka Imam Asy-Syafi'i, hal. 123-130, penerjemah H.Asmuni Solihan Zamaksyari Lc.]

Baca Artikel Lainnya : BERSENGGAMA DALAM HAJI, BOLEH KAH?

BAJU UNTUK UMRAH

saco-indonesia.com, Entrenador utama tim nasional Spanyol, Vicente Del Bosque, akhirny mengakui bahwa ia telah memilik Franck Ribery bersama Xavi Hernandez dan Andres Iniesta untuk nominasi penerima Ballon d"Or.

Bosque di beberapa kesempatan yang lalu juga sudah pernah menyebut bahwa ia telah memilih dua pemain Spanyol untuk penghargaan tersebut, namun telah memilih untuk merahasiakan satu nama terakhir.

"Saya memilih dengan menyadari apa yang saya percaya. Saya tidak ingin terlibat dalam satu perdebatan. Ini adalah isu yang kecil menurut saya. Saya telah memilih Xavi dan Iniesta karena mereka ada di daftar. Tentu saya tidak bisa memilih pemain lain," jelasnya pada radio Ondacero, sebagaimana dilaporkan oleh AS.

"Sedangkan saya telah memilih Ribery sebagai kandidat ketiga untuk alasan yang bagus, ia juga sudah memenangkan Liga Champions, liga, dan piala domestik. Selain itu ia juga membawa Prancis ke Piala Dunia. Ia adalah seorang perwakilan yang sempurna untuk Bayern Munich," tutup Bosque.

Pengumuman pemenang Ballon d"Or baru akan diadakan di sebuah gala FIFA pada bulan Januari mendatang.


Editor : Dian Sukmawati

BOSQUE MEMILIH RIBERY

Arsitektur suci Islam yang paling awal adalah Baitullah (Ka’bah), dengan titik poros langit yang menembus bumi.

Monumen primordial yang dibangun oleh Nabi Adam As dan kemudian dibangun kembali oleh Nabi Ibrahim As, ini merupakan refleksi duniawi dari monumen surgawi yang juga terpantul dalam hati manusia.

Keselarasan dimensi Ka’bah, keseimbangan dan simetrisnya, sekaligus merupakan pusat dari kosmos Islam, yang dapat ditemukan dalam arsitektur suci di seluruh dunia Islam.

Geometri, bentuk dan ukuran Ka’bah semuanya memainkan peranan penting dalam kemunculan arsitektur Islam. Menurut beberapa riwayat, pada waktu Nabi Ibrahim As membina Ka’bah, bahan untuk pembikinan Ka’bah itu diambil dari enam buah gunung (bukit).

Pertama bukit Qubaisy, bukit Thursina di Syam, bukit Qudus di Syam pula, bukit Warqon yang terletak antara Mekah dan Madinah, bukit Radhwi, sebuah bukit yang terletak antara Madinah dan Yanbu dekat Wadi Yanbu, dan yang terakhir adalah bukit Uhud yang terletak di Madinah.

Dalam pengangkutan batu-batu dari bukit-bukit tersebut Allah SWT telah memerintahkan kepada para Malaikat Jabbal dan para Malaikat Hafadzhah untuk membantu Nabi Ibrahim.

Ka’bah yang dibangun oleh Nabi Ibrahim As memiliki dua sudut yang diberi nama Rukun, yaitu ; Rukun yamani dan Rukun Hajar Aswad (batu hitam).

Arah Ka’bah bertolak belakang dengan kedua rukun tersebut, yang berbentuk bulat (bundar) seperti bentuk Hijr Ismail, yang panjangnya 6 hasta. Pada masa kaum Quraisy, Hijr Ismail bergeser letaknya di luar Ka’bah karena dikurangi 6 hasta.

Oleh karena itu, perbaikan yang dilakukan kaum Quraisy itu tidak sesuai dengan ukuran yang ditentukan oleh Nabi Ibrahim As. Selain itu, Ka’bah pada masa pembinaan Nabi Ibrahim As tidak memiliki atap (tidak beratap) seperti yang terdapat pada Ka’bah sekarang ini. Justru di masa itu, Ka’bah memiliki dua pintu yang menghadap ke Timur dan Barat.

Pintu arah Timur melambangkan hakikat realitas penerbangan dan pendakian dalam melawan seluruh hal yang merendahkan derajat serta menurunkan dunia ini. Hal itu mengantarkan manusia pada kebebasan dari kungkungan duniawi yang serba terbatas.

Juga, bermakna sebagai simbol cahaya yang memancar secara serempak di antara langit dan bumi yang mengungkapkan hubungan-hubungan kosmik tertentu.

Sementara, pintu arah Barat melambangkan hukum Ilahi, yang berisi perintah-perintah bagi kaum muslim tentang “bagaimana berbuat bukan bagaimana membuat sesuatu.”

Ini bermakna pula sebagai upaya membantu setiap Muslim menembus ke dalam dan ditembusi oleh kehadiran Ilahi yang sesuai dengan kapasitas spiritual setiap orang.

Ketika seseorang memasuki Ka’bah, maka keheningan ruang Ka’bah akan mengingatkannya kepada yang gaib, seperti halnya seseorang yang harus bertelanjang kaki jika ingin mengenal tanah.

Sumber : http://www.jurnalhaji.com

Baca Artikel Lainnya : MINA DI JADIKAN TEMPAT MABIT

ARSITEKTUR PERTAMA DALAM SEJARAH ISLAM
Saco-Indonesia.com - Kebaya bisa jadi busana tradisi Indonesia berikutnya yang akan mencuri perhatian publik di tingkat internasional, setelah batik dan tenun. Anggota keluarga kerajaan Jerman salah satu yang mulai tertarik dengan kebaya Indonesia.


Hal itu disampaikan Nia Niscaya, Direktur Promosi Pariwisata Internasional, Kementerian Pariwisata dan Ekonomi Kreatif, saat ditemui di House of Ferry Sunarto, di Senopati, Jakarta Selatan, Senin (20/5/2013) lalu. Seperti diberitakan sebelumnya, desainer Ferry Sunarto diundang untuk memamerkan sejumlah koleksi kebayanya di Jerman, dalam perayaan Landpartie Schloss Buckeburg pada 30 Mei-2 Juni 2013.

"Kalau festival tahunan di Jerman ini digelar, mereka meminta adanya peragaan busana kebaya, karena mereka sudah tahu kalau kebaya sangat khas Indonesia," ujar Nia.

Dari sejumlah perancang kebaya Indonesia yang ada, pilihan Kemenparekraf lalu jatuh ke Ferry Sunarto. Menurut Nia, Ferry adalah desainer muda berbakat dengan produk kebaya yang glamor dan sesuai dengan selera asing.

"Kebaya Ferry punya sense internasional, dan memang sangat menarik, karena detailnya mewah sekali," ungkap dia menambahkan.

Selain diperagakan selama pameran di Istana Buckeburg, Jerman, koleksi kebaya itu juga akan dipakai Princess Nadja Anna Zsoek dan diperagakan di cocktail reception yang dihadiri tamu VIP kerajaan.

"Akan ada pemotretan oleh majalah mode di  Jerman sebanyak delapan halaman, dan modelnya Princess Nadja," kata Nia.

Keikutsertaan koleksi Ferry di Istana Buckerburg dan di hadapan komunitas kerajaan menjadi yang pertama buat Indonesia. Jika pameran ini sukses, ada kemungkinan kebaya akan menjadi perbincangan dan dicari.

Saat berkunjung ke butiknya di Senopati, Ferry menunjukkan beberapa koleksinya yang akan diperagakan di Jerman. Di antaranya didominasi warna pastel yang lembut dan sentuhan gaya yang sangat modern.

Pakem kebaya sendiri masih terlihat dari bahan yang digunakan, seperti renda, payet, dan manik-manik. Selain itu masih ditemukan kerutan khas kebaya di bagian dada, serta bustier yang menempel pas badan.

Untuk gaya internasionalnya, terlihat dari siluetnya yang seksi, bahan transparan di beberapa bagian, ornamen di leher dan pundak, serta potongan gaun yang mengembang. Jika dilihat dari dekat, kebaya-kebaya ini berkesan mewah karena semua detail dikerjakan dengan tangan.

"Sudah saatnya budaya dapat beradaptasi dengan perubahan zaman. Kebaya bisa jadi busana yang modern sehingga satu hari nanti bukan hanya dimiliki bangsa Indonesia saja, tapi juga jadi inspirasi dunia," ujar Ferry.

 

Editor :Liwon Maulana(galipat)
Sumber:Kompas.com
Kebaya Jadi Incaran Anggota Kerajaan Jerman

WASHINGTON — The former deputy director of the C.I.A. asserts in a forthcoming book that Republicans, in their eagerness to politicize the killing of the American ambassador to Libya, repeatedly distorted the agency’s analysis of events. But he also argues that the C.I.A. should get out of the business of providing “talking points” for administration officials in national security events that quickly become partisan, as happened after the Benghazi attack in 2012.

The official, Michael J. Morell, dismisses the allegation that the United States military and C.I.A. officers “were ordered to stand down and not come to the rescue of their comrades,” and he says there is “no evidence” to support the charge that “there was a conspiracy between C.I.A. and the White House to spin the Benghazi story in a way that would protect the political interests of the president and Secretary Clinton,” referring to the secretary of state at the time, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

But he also concludes that the White House itself embellished some of the talking points provided by the Central Intelligence Agency and had blocked him from sending an internal study of agency conclusions to Congress.

Photo
 
Michael J. Morell Credit Mark Wilson/Getty Images

“I finally did so without asking,” just before leaving government, he writes, and after the White House released internal emails to a committee investigating the State Department’s handling of the issue.

A lengthy congressional investigation remains underway, one that many Republicans hope to use against Mrs. Clinton in the 2016 election cycle.

In parts of the book, “The Great War of Our Time” (Twelve), Mr. Morell praises his C.I.A. colleagues for many successes in stopping terrorist attacks, but he is surprisingly critical of other C.I.A. failings — and those of the National Security Agency.

Soon after Mr. Morell retired in 2013 after 33 years in the agency, President Obama appointed him to a commission reviewing the actions of the National Security Agency after the disclosures of Edward J. Snowden, a former intelligence contractor who released classified documents about the government’s eavesdropping abilities. Mr. Morell writes that he was surprised by what he found.

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“You would have thought that of all the government entities on the planet, the one least vulnerable to such grand theft would have been the N.S.A.,” he writes. “But it turned out that the N.S.A. had left itself vulnerable.”

He concludes that most Wall Street firms had better cybersecurity than the N.S.A. had when Mr. Snowden swept information from its systems in 2013. While he said he found himself “chagrined by how well the N.S.A. was doing” compared with the C.I.A. in stepping up its collection of data on intelligence targets, he also sensed that the N.S.A., which specializes in electronic spying, was operating without considering the implications of its methods.

“The N.S.A. had largely been collecting information because it could, not necessarily in all cases because it should,” he says.

The book is to be released next week.

Mr. Morell was a career analyst who rose through the ranks of the agency, and he ended up in the No. 2 post. He served as President George W. Bush’s personal intelligence briefer in the first months of his presidency — in those days, he could often be spotted at the Starbucks in Waco, Tex., catching up on his reading — and was with him in the schoolhouse in Florida on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, when the Bush presidency changed in an instant.

Mr. Morell twice took over as acting C.I.A. director, first when Leon E. Panetta was appointed secretary of defense and then when retired Gen. David H. Petraeus resigned over an extramarital affair with his biographer, a relationship that included his handing her classified notes of his time as America’s best-known military commander.

Mr. Morell says he first learned of the affair from Mr. Petraeus only the night before he resigned, and just as the Benghazi events were turning into a political firestorm. While praising Mr. Petraeus, who had told his deputy “I am very lucky” to run the C.I.A., Mr. Morell writes that “the organization did not feel the same way about him.” The former general “created the impression through the tone of his voice and his body language that he did not want people to disagree with him (which was not true in my own interaction with him),” he says.

But it is his account of the Benghazi attacks — and how the C.I.A. was drawn into the debate over whether the Obama White House deliberately distorted its account of the death of Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens — that is bound to attract attention, at least partly because of its relevance to the coming presidential election. The initial assessments that the C.I.A. gave to the White House said demonstrations had preceded the attack. By the time analysts reversed their opinion, Susan E. Rice, now the national security adviser, had made a series of statements on Sunday talk shows describing the initial assessment. The controversy and other comments Ms. Rice made derailed Mr. Obama’s plan to appoint her as secretary of state.

The experience prompted Mr. Morell to write that the C.I.A. should stay out of the business of preparing talking points — especially on issues that are being seized upon for “political purposes.” He is critical of the State Department for not beefing up security in Libya for its diplomats, as the C.I.A., he said, did for its employees.

But he concludes that the assault in which the ambassador was killed took place “with little or no advance planning” and “was not well organized.” He says the attackers “did not appear to be looking for Americans to harm. They appeared intent on looting and conducting some vandalism,” setting fires that killed Mr. Stevens and a security official, Sean Smith.

Mr. Morell paints a picture of an agency that was struggling, largely unsuccessfully, to understand dynamics in the Middle East and North Africa when the Arab Spring broke out in late 2011 in Tunisia. The agency’s analysts failed to see the forces of revolution coming — and then failed again, he writes, when they told Mr. Obama that the uprisings would undercut Al Qaeda by showing there was a democratic pathway to change.

“There is no good explanation for our not being able to see the pressures growing to dangerous levels across the region,” he writes. The agency had again relied too heavily “on a handful of strong leaders in the countries of concern to help us understand what was going on in the Arab street,” he says, and those leaders themselves were clueless.

Moreover, an agency that has always overvalued secretly gathered intelligence and undervalued “open source” material “was not doing enough to mine the wealth of information available through social media,” he writes. “We thought and told policy makers that this outburst of popular revolt would damage Al Qaeda by undermining the group’s narrative,” he writes.

Instead, weak governments in Egypt, and the absence of governance from Libya to Yemen, were “a boon to Islamic extremists across both the Middle East and North Africa.”

Mr. Morell is gentle about most of the politicians he dealt with — he expresses admiration for both Mr. Bush and Mr. Obama, though he accuses former Vice President Dick Cheney of deliberately implying a connection between Al Qaeda and Iraq that the C.I.A. had concluded probably did not exist. But when it comes to the events leading up to the Bush administration’s decision to go to war in Iraq, he is critical of his own agency.

Mr. Morell concludes that the Bush White House did not have to twist intelligence on Saddam Hussein’s alleged effort to rekindle the country’s work on weapons of mass destruction.

“The view that hard-liners in the Bush administration forced the intelligence community into its position on W.M.D. is just flat wrong,” he writes. “No one pushed. The analysts were already there and they had been there for years, long before Bush came to office.”

Ex-C.I.A. Official Rebuts Republican Claims on Benghazi Attack in ‘The Great War of Our Time’
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Many bodies prepared for cremation last week in Kathmandu were of young men from Gongabu, a common stopover for Nepali migrant workers headed overseas. Credit Daniel Berehulak for The New York Times

KATHMANDU, Nepal — When the dense pillar of smoke from cremations by the Bagmati River was thinning late last week, the bodies were all coming from Gongabu, a common stopover for Nepali migrant workers headed overseas, and they were all of young men.

Hindu custom dictates that funeral pyres should be lighted by the oldest son of the deceased, but these men were too young to have sons, so they were burned by their brothers or fathers. Sukla Lal, a maize farmer, made a 14-hour journey by bus to retrieve the body of his 19-year-old son, who had been on his way to the Persian Gulf to work as a laborer.

“He wanted to live in the countryside, but he was compelled to leave by poverty,” Mr. Lal said, gazing ahead steadily as his son’s remains smoldered. “He told me, ‘You can live on your land, and I will come up with money, and we will have a happy family.’ ”

Weeks will pass before the authorities can give a complete accounting of who died in the April 25 earthquake, but it is already clear that Nepal cannot afford the losses. The countryside was largely stripped of its healthy young men even before the quake, as they migrated in great waves — 1,500 a day by some estimates — to work as laborers in India, Malaysia or one of the gulf nations, leaving many small communities populated only by elderly parents, women and children. Economists say that at some times of the year, one-quarter of Nepal’s population is working outside the country.

Nepal’s Young Men, Lost to Migration, Then a Quake

A 2-minute-42-second demo recording captured in one take turned out to be a one-hit wonder for Mr. Ely, who was 19 when he sang the garage-band classic.

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Hired in 1968, a year before their first season, Mr. Fanning spent 25 years with the team, managing them to their only playoff appearance in Canada.

Jim Fanning, 87, Dies; Lifted Baseball in Canada With Expos

“It was really nice to play with other women and not have this underlying tone of being at each other’s throats.”

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As he reflected on the festering wounds deepened by race and grievance that have been on painful display in America’s cities lately, President Obama on Monday found himself thinking about a young man he had just met named Malachi.

A few minutes before, in a closed-door round-table discussion at Lehman College in the Bronx, Mr. Obama had asked a group of black and Hispanic students from disadvantaged backgrounds what could be done to help them reach their goals. Several talked about counseling and guidance programs.

“Malachi, he just talked about — we should talk about love,” Mr. Obama told a crowd afterward, drifting away from his prepared remarks. “Because Malachi and I shared the fact that our dad wasn’t around and that sometimes we wondered why he wasn’t around and what had happened. But really, that’s what this comes down to is: Do we love these kids?”

Many presidents have governed during times of racial tension, but Mr. Obama is the first to see in the mirror a face that looks like those on the other side of history’s ledger. While his first term was consumed with the economy, war and health care, his second keeps coming back to the societal divide that was not bridged by his election. A president who eschewed focusing on race now seems to have found his voice again as he thinks about how to use his remaining time in office and beyond.

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Obama Speaks of a ‘Sense of Unfairness’

Obama Speaks of a ‘Sense of Unfairness’

At an event announcing the creation of a nonprofit focusing on young minority men, President Obama talked about the underlying reasons for recent protests in Baltimore and other cities.

By Associated Press on Publish Date May 4, 2015. Photo by Stephen Crowley/The New York Times.

In the aftermath of racially charged unrest in places like Baltimore, Ferguson, Mo., and New York, Mr. Obama came to the Bronx on Monday for the announcement of a new nonprofit organization that is being spun off from his White House initiative called My Brother’s Keeper. Staked by more than $80 million in commitments from corporations and other donors, the new group, My Brother’s Keeper Alliance, will in effect provide the nucleus for Mr. Obama’s post-presidency, which will begin in January 2017.

“This will remain a mission for me and for Michelle not just for the rest of my presidency but for the rest of my life,” Mr. Obama said. “And the reason is simple,” he added. Referring to some of the youths he had just met, he said: “We see ourselves in these young men. I grew up without a dad. I grew up lost sometimes and adrift, not having a sense of a clear path. The only difference between me and a lot of other young men in this neighborhood and all across the country is that I grew up in an environment that was a little more forgiving.”

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Organizers said the new alliance already had financial pledges from companies like American Express, Deloitte, Discovery Communications and News Corporation. The money will be used to help companies address obstacles facing young black and Hispanic men, provide grants to programs for disadvantaged youths, and help communities aid their populations.

Joe Echevarria, a former chief executive of Deloitte, the accounting and consulting firm, will lead the alliance, and among those on its leadership team or advisory group are executives at PepsiCo, News Corporation, Sprint, BET and Prudential Group Insurance; former Secretary of State Colin L. Powell; Senator Cory Booker, Democrat of New Jersey; former Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr.; the music star John Legend; the retired athletes Alonzo Mourning, Jerome Bettis and Shaquille O’Neal; and the mayors of Indianapolis, Sacramento and Philadelphia.

The alliance, while nominally independent of the White House, may face some of the same questions confronting former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton as she begins another presidential campaign. Some of those donating to the alliance may have interests in government action, and skeptics may wonder whether they are trying to curry favor with the president by contributing.

“The Obama administration will have no role in deciding how donations are screened and what criteria they’ll set at the alliance for donor policies, because it’s an entirely separate entity,” Josh Earnest, the White House press secretary, told reporters on Air Force One en route to New York. But he added, “I’m confident that the members of the board are well aware of the president’s commitment to transparency.”

The alliance was in the works before the disturbances last week after the death of Freddie Gray, the black man who suffered fatal injuries while in police custody in Baltimore, but it reflected the evolution of Mr. Obama’s presidency. For him, in a way, it is coming back to issues that animated him as a young community organizer and politician. It was his own struggle with race and identity, captured in his youthful memoir, “Dreams From My Father,” that stood him apart from other presidential aspirants.

But that was a side of him that he kept largely to himself through the first years of his presidency while he focused on other priorities like turning the economy around, expanding government-subsidized health care and avoiding electoral land mines en route to re-election.

After securing a second term, Mr. Obama appeared more emboldened. Just a month after his 2013 inauguration, he talked passionately about opportunity and race with a group of teenage boys in Chicago, a moment aides point to as perhaps the first time he had spoken about these issues in such a personal, powerful way as president. A few months later, he publicly lamented the death of Trayvon Martin, a black Florida teenager, saying that “could have been me 35 years ago.”

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President Obama on Monday with Darinel Montero, a student at Bronx International High School who introduced him before remarks at Lehman College in the Bronx. Credit Stephen Crowley/The New York Times

That case, along with public ruptures of anger over police shootings in Ferguson and elsewhere, have pushed the issue of race and law enforcement onto the public agenda. Aides said they imagined that with his presidency in its final stages, Mr. Obama might be thinking more about what comes next and causes he can advance as a private citizen.

That is not to say that his public discussion of these issues has been universally welcomed. Some conservatives said he had made matters worse by seeming in their view to blame police officers in some of the disputed cases.

“President Obama, when he was elected, could have been a unifying leader,” Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, a Republican candidate for president, said at a forum last week. “He has made decisions that I think have inflamed racial tensions.”

On the other side of the ideological spectrum, some liberal African-American activists have complained that Mr. Obama has not done enough to help downtrodden communities. While he is speaking out more, these critics argue, he has hardly used the power of the presidency to make the sort of radical change they say is necessary.

The line Mr. Obama has tried to straddle has been a serrated one. He condemns police brutality as he defends most officers as honorable. He condemns “criminals and thugs” who looted in Baltimore while expressing empathy with those trapped in a cycle of poverty and hopelessness.

In the Bronx on Monday, Mr. Obama bemoaned the death of Brian Moore, a plainclothes New York police officer who had died earlier in the day after being shot in the head Saturday on a Queens street. Most police officers are “good and honest and fair and care deeply about their communities,” even as they put their lives on the line, Mr. Obama said.

“Which is why in addressing the issues in Baltimore or Ferguson or New York, the point I made was that if we’re just looking at policing, we’re looking at it too narrowly,” he added. “If we ask the police to simply contain and control problems that we ourselves have been unwilling to invest and solve, that’s not fair to the communities, it’s not fair to the police.”

Moreover, if society writes off some people, he said, “that’s not the kind of country I want to live in; that’s not what America is about.”

His message to young men like Malachi Hernandez, who attends Boston Latin Academy in Massachusetts, is not to give up.

“I want you to know you matter,” he said. “You matter to us.”

Obama Finds a Bolder Voice on Race Issues

Even as a high school student, Dave Goldberg was urging female classmates to speak up. As a young dot-com executive, he had one girlfriend after another, but fell hard for a driven friend named Sheryl Sandberg, pining after her for years. After they wed, Mr. Goldberg pushed her to negotiate hard for high compensation and arranged his schedule so that he could be home with their children when she was traveling for work.

Mr. Goldberg, who died unexpectedly on Friday, was a genial, 47-year-old Silicon Valley entrepreneur who built his latest company, SurveyMonkey, from a modest enterprise to one recently valued by investors at $2 billion. But he was also perhaps the signature male feminist of his era: the first major chief executive in memory to spur his wife to become as successful in business as he was, and an essential figure in “Lean In,” Ms. Sandberg’s blockbuster guide to female achievement.

Over the weekend, even strangers were shocked at his death, both because of his relatively young age and because they knew of him as the living, breathing, car-pooling center of a new philosophy of two-career marriage.

“They were very much the role models for what this next generation wants to grapple with,” said Debora L. Spar, the president of Barnard College. In a 2011 commencement speech there, Ms. Sandberg told the graduates that whom they married would be their most important career decision.

In the play “The Heidi Chronicles,” revived on Broadway this spring, a male character who is the founder of a media company says that “I don’t want to come home to an A-plus,” explaining that his ambitions require him to marry an unthreatening helpmeet. Mr. Goldberg grew up to hold the opposite view, starting with his upbringing in progressive Minneapolis circles where “there was woman power in every aspect of our lives,” Jeffrey Dachis, a childhood friend, said in an interview.

The Goldberg parents read “The Feminine Mystique” together — in fact, Mr. Goldberg’s father introduced it to his wife, according to Ms. Sandberg’s book. In 1976, Paula Goldberg helped found a nonprofit to aid children with disabilities. Her husband, Mel, a law professor who taught at night, made the family breakfast at home.

Later, when Dave Goldberg was in high school and his prom date, Jill Chessen, stayed silent in a politics class, he chastised her afterward. He said, “You need to speak up,” Ms. Chessen recalled in an interview. “They need to hear your voice.”

Years later, when Karin Gilford, an early employee at Launch Media, Mr. Goldberg’s digital music company, became a mother, he knew exactly what to do. He kept giving her challenging assignments, she recalled, but also let her work from home one day a week. After Yahoo acquired Launch, Mr. Goldberg became known for distributing roses to all the women in the office on Valentine’s Day.

Ms. Sandberg, who often describes herself as bossy-in-a-good-way, enchanted him when they became friendly in the mid-1990s. He “was smitten with her,” Ms. Chessen remembered. Ms. Sandberg was dating someone else, but Mr. Goldberg still hung around, even helping her and her then-boyfriend move, recalled Bob Roback, a friend and co-founder of Launch. When they finally married in 2004, friends remember thinking how similar the two were, and that the qualities that might have made Ms. Sandberg intimidating to some men drew Mr. Goldberg to her even more.

Over the next decade, Mr. Goldberg and Ms. Sandberg pioneered new ways of capturing information online, had a son and then a daughter, became immensely wealthy, and hashed out their who-does-what-in-this-marriage issues. Mr. Goldberg’s commute from the Bay Area to Los Angeles became a strain, so he relocated, later joking that he “lost the coin flip” of where they would live. He paid the bills, she planned the birthday parties, and both often left their offices at 5:30 so they could eat dinner with their children before resuming work afterward.

Friends in Silicon Valley say they were careful to conduct their careers separately, politely refusing when outsiders would ask one about the other’s work: Ms. Sandberg’s role building Facebook into an information and advertising powerhouse, and Mr. Goldberg at SurveyMonkey, which made polling faster and cheaper. But privately, their work was intertwined. He often began statements to his team with the phrase “Well, Sheryl said” sharing her business advice. He counseled her, too, starting with her salary negotiations with Mark Zuckerberg.

“I wanted Mark to really feel he stretched to get Sheryl, because she was worth it,” Mr. Goldberg explained in a 2013 “60 Minutes” interview, his Minnesota accent and his smile intact as he offered a rare peek of the intersection of marriage and money at the top of corporate life.

 

 

While his wife grew increasingly outspoken about women’s advancement, Mr. Goldberg quietly advised the men in the office on family and partnership matters, an associate said. Six out of 16 members of SurveyMonkey’s management team are female, an almost unheard-of ratio among Silicon Valley “unicorns,” or companies valued at over $1 billion.

When Mellody Hobson, a friend and finance executive, wrote a chapter of “Lean In” about women of color for the college edition of the book, Mr. Goldberg gave her feedback on the draft, a clue to his deep involvement. He joked with Ms. Hobson that she was too long-winded, like Ms. Sandberg, but aside from that, he said he loved the chapter, she said in an interview.

By then, Mr. Goldberg was a figure of fascination who inspired a “where can I get one of those?” reaction among many of the women who had read the best seller “Lean In.” Some lamented that Ms. Sandberg’s advice hinged too much on marrying a Dave Goldberg, who was humble enough to plan around his wife, attentive enough to worry about which shoes his young daughter would wear, and rich enough to help pay for the help that made the family’s balancing act manageable.

Now that he is gone, and Ms. Sandberg goes from being half of a celebrated partnership to perhaps the business world’s most prominent single mother, the pages of “Lean In” carry a new sting of loss.

“We are never at 50-50 at any given moment — perfect equality is hard to define or sustain — but we allow the pendulum to swing back and forth between us,” she wrote in 2013, adding that they were looking forward to raising teenagers together.

“Fortunately, I have Dave to figure it out with me,” she wrote.

Dave Goldberg Was Lifelong Women’s Advocate

GREENWICH, Conn. — Mago is in the bedroom. You can go in.

The big man lies on a hospital bed with his bare feet scraping its bottom rail. His head is propped on a scarlet pillow, the left temple dented, the right side paralyzed. His dark hair is kept just long enough to conceal the scars.

The occasional sounds he makes are understood only by his wife, but he still has that punctuating left hand. In slow motion, the fingers curl and close. A thumbs-up greeting.

Hello, Mago.

This is Magomed Abdusalamov, 34, also known as the Russian Tyson, also known as Mago. He is a former heavyweight boxer who scored four knockouts and 14 technical knockouts in his first 18 professional fights. He preferred to stand between rounds. Sitting conveyed weakness.

But Mago lost his 19th fight, his big chance, at the packed Theater at Madison Square Garden in November 2013. His 19th decision, and his last.

Now here he is, in a small bedroom in a working-class neighborhood in Greenwich, in a modest house his family rents cheap from a devoted friend. The air-pressure machine for his mattress hums like an expectant crowd.

 

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Mike Perez, left, and Magomed Abdusalamov during the fight in which Abdusalamov was injured. Credit Joe Camporeale/USA Today Sports, via Reuters

 

Today is like any other day, except for those days when he is hurried in crisis to the hospital. Every three hours during the night, his slight wife, Bakanay, 28, has risen to turn his 6-foot-3 body — 210 pounds of dead weight. It has to be done. Infections of the gaping bedsore above his tailbone have nearly killed him.

Then, with the help of a young caretaker, Baka has gotten two of their daughters off to elementary school and settled down the toddler. Yes, Mago and Baka are blessed with all girls, but they had also hoped for a son someday.

They feed Mago as they clean him; it’s easier that way. For breakfast, which comes with a side of crushed antiseizure pills, he likes oatmeal with a squirt of Hershey’s chocolate syrup. But even oatmeal must be puréed and fed to him by spoon.

He opens his mouth to indicate more, the way a baby does. But his paralysis has made everything a choking hazard. His water needs a stirring of powdered food thickener, and still he chokes — eh-eh-eh — as he tries to cough up what will not go down.

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Mago used to drink only water. No alcohol. Not even soda. A sip of juice would be as far as he dared. Now even water betrays him.

With the caretaker’s help, Baka uses a washcloth and soap to clean his body and shampoo his hair. How handsome still, she has thought. Sometimes, in the night, she leaves the bedroom to watch old videos, just to hear again his voice in the fullness of life. She cries, wipes her eyes and returns, feigning happiness. Mago must never see her sad.

 

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 Abdusalamov's hand being massaged. Credit Ángel Franco/The New York Times

 

When Baka finishes, Mago is cleanshaven and fresh down to his trimmed and filed toenails. “I want him to look good,” she says.

Theirs was an arranged Muslim marriage in Makhachkala, in the Russian republic of Dagestan. He was 23, she was 18 and their future hinged on boxing. Sometimes they would shadowbox in love, her David to his Goliath. You are so strong, he would tell her.

His father once told him he could either be a bandit or an athlete, but if he chose banditry, “I will kill you.” This paternal advice, Mago later told The Ventura County Reporter, “made it a very easy decision for me.”

Mago won against mediocre competition, in Moscow and Hollywood, Fla., in Las Vegas and Johnstown, Pa. He was knocked down only once, and even then, it surprised more than hurt. He scored a technical knockout in the next round.

It all led up to this: the undercard at the Garden, Mike Perez vs. Magomed Abdusalamov, 10 rounds, on HBO. A win, he believed, would improve his chances of taking on the heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko, who sat in the crowd of 4,600 with his fiancée, the actress Hayden Panettiere, watching.

Wearing black-and-red trunks and a green mouth guard, Mago went to work. But in the first round, a hard forearm to his left cheek rocked him. At the bell, he returned to his corner, and this time, he sat down. “I think it’s broken,” he repeatedly said in Russian.

 

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Bakanay Abdusalamova, Abdusalamov's wife, and her injured husband and a masseur in the background. Credit Ángel Franco/The New York Times

 

Maybe at that point, somebody — the referee, the ringside doctors, his handlers — should have stopped the fight, under a guiding principle: better one punch too early than one punch too late. But the bloody trade of blows continued into the seventh, eighth, ninth, a hand and orbital bone broken, his face transforming.

Meanwhile, in the family’s apartment in Miami, Baka forced herself to watch the broadcast. She could see it in his swollen eyes. Something was off.

After the final round, Perez raised his tattooed arms in victory, and Mago wandered off in a fog. He had taken 312 punches in about 40 minutes, for a purse of $40,000.

 

 

In the locker room, doctors sutured a cut above Mago’s left eye and tested his cognitive abilities. He did not do well. The ambulance that waits in expectation at every fight was not summoned by boxing officials.

Blood was pooling in Mago’s cranial cavity as he left the Garden. He vomited on the pavement while his handlers flagged a taxi to St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital. There, doctors induced a coma and removed part of his skull to drain fluids and ease the swelling.

Then came the stroke.

 

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A championship belt belonging to Abdusalamov and a card from one of his daughters. Credit Ángel Franco/The New York Times

 

It is lunchtime now, and the aroma of puréed beef and potatoes lingers. So do the questions.

How will Mago and Baka pay the $2 million in medical bills they owe? What if their friend can no longer offer them this home? Will they win their lawsuits against the five ringside doctors, the referee, and a New York State boxing inspector? What about Mago’s future care?

Most of all: Is this it?

A napkin rests on Mago’s chest. As another spoonful of mush approaches, he opens his mouth, half-swallows, chokes, and coughs until it clears. Eh-eh-eh. Sometimes he turns bluish, but Baka never shows fear. Always happy for Mago.

Some days he is wheeled out for physical therapy or speech therapy. Today, two massage therapists come to knead his half-limp body like a pair of skilled corner men.

Soon, Mago will doze. Then his three daughters, ages 2, 6 and 9, will descend upon him to talk of their day. Not long ago, the oldest lugged his championship belt to school for a proud show-and-tell moment. Her classmates were amazed at the weight of it.

Then, tonight, there will be more puréed food and pulverized medication, more coughing, and more tender care from his wife, before sleep comes.

Goodbye, Mago.

He half-smiles, raises his one good hand, and forms a fist.

Meet Mago, Former Heavyweight

Imagine an elite professional services firm with a high-performing, workaholic culture. Everyone is expected to turn on a dime to serve a client, travel at a moment’s notice, and be available pretty much every evening and weekend. It can make for a grueling work life, but at the highest levels of accounting, law, investment banking and consulting firms, it is just the way things are.

Except for one dirty little secret: Some of the people ostensibly turning in those 80- or 90-hour workweeks, particularly men, may just be faking it.

Many of them were, at least, at one elite consulting firm studied by Erin Reid, a professor at Boston University’s Questrom School of Business. It’s impossible to know if what she learned at that unidentified consulting firm applies across the world of work more broadly. But her research, published in the academic journal Organization Science, offers a way to understand how the professional world differs between men and women, and some of the ways a hard-charging culture that emphasizes long hours above all can make some companies worse off.

Photo
 
Credit Peter Arkle

Ms. Reid interviewed more than 100 people in the American offices of a global consulting firm and had access to performance reviews and internal human resources documents. At the firm there was a strong culture around long hours and responding to clients promptly.

“When the client needs me to be somewhere, I just have to be there,” said one of the consultants Ms. Reid interviewed. “And if you can’t be there, it’s probably because you’ve got another client meeting at the same time. You know it’s tough to say I can’t be there because my son had a Cub Scout meeting.”

Some people fully embraced this culture and put in the long hours, and they tended to be top performers. Others openly pushed back against it, insisting upon lighter and more flexible work hours, or less travel; they were punished in their performance reviews.

The third group is most interesting. Some 31 percent of the men and 11 percent of the women whose records Ms. Reid examined managed to achieve the benefits of a more moderate work schedule without explicitly asking for it.

They made an effort to line up clients who were local, reducing the need for travel. When they skipped work to spend time with their children or spouse, they didn’t call attention to it. One team on which several members had small children agreed among themselves to cover for one another so that everyone could have more flexible hours.

A male junior manager described working to have repeat consulting engagements with a company near enough to his home that he could take care of it with day trips. “I try to head out by 5, get home at 5:30, have dinner, play with my daughter,” he said, adding that he generally kept weekend work down to two hours of catching up on email.

Despite the limited hours, he said: “I know what clients are expecting. So I deliver above that.” He received a high performance review and a promotion.

What is fascinating about the firm Ms. Reid studied is that these people, who in her terminology were “passing” as workaholics, received performance reviews that were as strong as their hyper-ambitious colleagues. For people who were good at faking it, there was no real damage done by their lighter workloads.

It calls to mind the episode of “Seinfeld” in which George Costanza leaves his car in the parking lot at Yankee Stadium, where he works, and gets a promotion because his boss sees the car and thinks he is getting to work earlier and staying later than anyone else. (The strategy goes awry for him, and is not recommended for any aspiring partners in a consulting firm.)

A second finding is that women, particularly those with young children, were much more likely to request greater flexibility through more formal means, such as returning from maternity leave with an explicitly reduced schedule. Men who requested a paternity leave seemed to be punished come review time, and so may have felt more need to take time to spend with their families through those unofficial methods.

The result of this is easy to see: Those specifically requesting a lighter workload, who were disproportionately women, suffered in their performance reviews; those who took a lighter workload more discreetly didn’t suffer. The maxim of “ask forgiveness, not permission” seemed to apply.

It would be dangerous to extrapolate too much from a study at one firm, but Ms. Reid said in an interview that since publishing a summary of her research in Harvard Business Review she has heard from people in a variety of industries describing the same dynamic.

High-octane professional service firms are that way for a reason, and no one would doubt that insane hours and lots of travel can be necessary if you’re a lawyer on the verge of a big trial, an accountant right before tax day or an investment banker advising on a huge merger.

But the fact that the consultants who quietly lightened their workload did just as well in their performance reviews as those who were truly working 80 or more hours a week suggests that in normal times, heavy workloads may be more about signaling devotion to a firm than really being more productive. The person working 80 hours isn’t necessarily serving clients any better than the person working 50.

In other words, maybe the real problem isn’t men faking greater devotion to their jobs. Maybe it’s that too many companies reward the wrong things, favoring the illusion of extraordinary effort over actual productivity.

How Some Men Fake an 80-Hour Workweek, and Why It Matters

The 2015 Met Gala has only officially begun, but there's a clear leader in the race for best couple, no small feat at an event that threatens to sap Hollywood of every celebrity it has for the duration of an East Coast evening.

That would be Marc Jacobs and his surprise guest (who, by some miracle, remained under wraps until their red carpet debut), Cher.

“This has been a dream of mine for a very, very long time,” Mr. Jacobs said.

It is Cher's first appearance at the Met Gala since 1997, when she arrived on the arm of Donatella Versace.

– MATTHEW SCHNEIER

Cher and Marc Jacobs

Mr. Haroche was a founder of Liberty Travel, which grew from a two-man operation to the largest leisure travel operation in the United States.

Gilbert Haroche, Builder of an Economy Travel Empire, Dies at 87

Judge Patterson helped to protect the rights of Attica inmates after the prison riot in 1971 and later served on the Federal District Court in Manhattan.

Robert Patterson Jr., Lawyer and Judge Who Fought for the Accused, Dies at 91

Ms. Meadows was the older sister of Audrey Meadows, who played Alice Kramden on “The Honeymooners.”

Jayne Meadows, Actress and Steve Allen’s Wife and Co-Star, Dies at 95

Mr. Bartoszewski was given honorary Israeli citizenship for his work to save Jews during World War II and later surprised even himself by being instrumental in reconciling Poland and Germany.

Wladyslaw Bartoszewski, 93, Dies; Polish Auschwitz Survivor Aided Jews

The career criminals in genre novels don’t have money problems. If they need some, they just go out and steal it. But such financial transactions can backfire, which is what happened back in 2004 when the Texas gang in Michael

Take the Money and Run
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